Crash Into Me
by satellitecall1
Summary: Alex is rear-ended on her way to work by a WASP-y blonde. Short one-shot of what happens from there.


_A/N: Hey everyone! Thank you so much for the support on my last one-shot, it means the world to me. Here's another quick one shot; I'm trying to work myself up to publishing a multi-chapter fic for this fandom, but I want to keep working on some short AUs for a little longer. I hope you enjoy it!_

Crash Into Me

Alex was not happy. She had worked until 3 in the morning last night bartending, only to be woken up six hours later to a phone call from her manager, begging her to come in. Apparently, the opening bartender had called in sick, and Kelly claimed she had no other option but to call Alex. To make matters worse, traffic was a nightmare, and Alex was pretty sure she was going to be late.

Alex slowed down at the red light ahead, sighing heavily. She fished through her small clutch for her phone, trying checking for any missed calls. Unlocking her phone, she noticed the time, 9:45AM.

"Shit", she muttered, trying to determine how late she was going to be. Glancing up, and seeing that the light was still red, Alex put her phone back in clutch, and was zippering it back up when –

_CRASH_

Suddenly, Alex's car jumped forward, and Alex slammed forward along with it.

"What the fuck!" Alex exclaimed, looking in her rearview mirror. A dark blue sedan was pressed up against her bumper, and Alex rolled her eyes. "Jesus fuckin' Christ, I do not have time for this."

Ripping off her seatbelt and throwing open her door, Alex marched towards the back of her car. Surprisingly, their didn't appear to be any damage to her car, just a little chipped paint, which Alex was now realizing was perk of driving an SUV. The car that slammed into her, however, was not so lucky.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" a light voice suddenly appeared behind her, and Alex rolled her eyes. This was clearly one of the airhead college students she sees so frequently at the bar, probably freaking out about the new car Daddy gave her for her birthday. Alex turned around slowly, ready to take on what was likely going to be an infuriating, ditzy, co-ed.

Alex was shocked to discover that the girl in front of her was older than she expected. She was definitely a couple of years younger than Alex, but looked too old to still be in college. She was also tall and blonde, as Alex thought she would be, but was not decked out in the latest designer fashions. From what she could see, this girl, who was still swearing to herself as she bent over to expect the damage to the front of her car, was just in a tee shirt and cut off jean shorts.

With a final "Shit," the girl stood up, finally facing Alex, whose breath caught in her throat as soon as they made eye contact. Her eyes were a bright blue, her cheeks rosy in the summer sun, and she was wearing the most forlorn, guilt ridden expression she had ever seen anyone pull off. The girl bit her lip, as if she didn't know how to begin, so Alex finally stepped up.

"Are you okay?" was the first thing Alex could come up with, wincing internally at how lame she sounded. She was usually much better with words, especially when placed in front of an attractive girl.

"Yeah, I mean yes, yes I'm okay," the girl stuttered out. "You?"

"I'm good," Alex nodded, briefly turning back to her car. "Your car doesn't look so good though."

"Ughh, I know," the girl groaned, and her eyes welled with tears. "I – I need to call a tow truck, then I'll grab your information, okay?"

"Sure," Alex replied as the girl stepped away, pulling out her phone. Alex took the opportunity to check the blonde out, and was pleased with the girls, slender, toned body. Alex quickly texted her boss, letting her know she was in an accident and would be into work as soon as she could. She was just sliding her phone back into her pocket when the girl reappeared.

"The tow truck will be here in twenty minutes," the blonde said quietly, and Alex noticed that her eyes were red, as if she had been crying when she was on the phone.

A few pieces of Paper were thrust in Alex's face, along with a notebook and pen.

"Here's my information," the blonde explained. "You can take it down and then write down yours."

Alex nodded, looking at the girl's registration. _Piper Chapman, age 25, _she read as she copied the information. Scrawling the necessary information Piper had provided, and writing out her own, Alex ripped a piece of paper out of the notebook and handed it back to Piper.

"So, Piper Chapman," Alex began, and Piper's head shot up, her eyes once again filled with tears. Alex stuck out her hand. "My name is Alex."

"Nice to meet you Alex," Piper said automatically as she took Alex's hand, her face scrunching adorably when she realized what she said. "Or maybe not. I would prefer if I hadn't crashed my car into you."

Alex couldn't help but laugh at that, and Piper even cracked a smile. "Don't worry about it kid, it happens to the best of us."

Piper scoffed, and Alex cocked an eyebrow. "Is everything alright?"

"No, everything is not alright!" Piper exclaimed as she kicked the tire of her car. "I didn't get any sleep last night because my crappy neighbors were yelling at each other all night, I just got laid off from my job, and a month ago, I spent hundreds of dollars fixing this car only to crash it!"

"Wow," Alex said slowly, unable to figure out what else to say. Piper swiftly turned to lean against her car, shooting a glare at Alex. Despite Piper's stony face, Alex couldn't miss the tears tracking down her cheeks. Something swooped in Piper's chest; for some unknown reason, she felt the need to make Piper feel better, to make her smile.

"Listen kid," Alex said softly, her shoulder against Piper's as she moved to lean against the car next to the younger girl. "It'll all work out." Again, Piper huffed, but Alex continued. "I know things look like shit right now, but it'll all turn around."

"Maybe," Piper said quietly, her tone signaling the end of the conversation.

They waited in silence, side by side, until the tow truck came. The mechanic, a man in his mid-forties, took a quick glance at the car, before loading it up and returning to where Alex and Piper were waiting.

"Alright, the local mechanic is about ten miles down the road," the driver said. "They know you're coming, so you can ride down with me, or you can get a friend to pick you up."

"Um, I'll try a friend," Piper said quietly, pulling out her phone.

"Alright Miss," the driver replied. "The shop has your number, they'll give you a call when they figure out the damage and whether it's worth the fix."

"Okay, thank you," Piper sighed, nodding at the driver, who then turned and climbed into his truck.

"You can go now," Piper said, turning back to Alex.

"And leave you alone on a major roadway? Hell no," Alex scoffed, and Piper stared at her with wide, disbelieving eyes. "I'm already late for work, and I want to wait until I know someone is picking you up."

A flicker of a smile danced across Piper's face, which Alex returned. "Okay," Piper conceded, unlocking her phone to make a call.

"Hey Polly," Piper began when someone picked up. "Listen, I just got into a car accident – yes I'm alright, but my car looks like it's in bad shape…No, the other driver wasn't hurt, she's fine. I – I was just wondering if there was any way you could come pick me up? … Oh, okay. No, it's totally fine. Seriously Pol, don't worry about it!" I'll talk to you later okay? Bye."

When she hung up the phone, Piper bit her lip thoughtfully as she starting searching through her phone.

"Did you get a ride?" Alex asked as Piper began typing on her cell.

"No," Piper said, sounding distracted. "My friend Polly is about to go into a meeting, so she can't come get me for a couple of hours. I think I have a number for a cab in my phone somewhere." Piper continued, her voice trailing off.

Alex didn't know what made her say it, but it just came out. "Well, I can just drive you to the bar I work at and someone can pick you up there. It's better than waiting on the side of the road."

Piper's head shot up, eyes wide and slightly suspicious. "Why?"

"Like I said, I'm already late for work, and I'm not going to leave you on the side of the road waiting for a cab. At least you can hang out inside while you wait, and I can get to work sooner rather than later."

"I don't know…" Piper began before Alex cut her off.

"Seriously, come on," Alex insisted. "It's not like you can do anything today without a car. Just come and keep me entertained at work. I'll even give you some free drinks, you look like you need them after this morning."

Piper continued to eye Alex until she slowly began to grin. When Piper smiled fully, Alex once again felt a swoop in her stomach, and desire shot through her. "I would appreciate some free drinks," Piper replied casually, and Alex noticed a hint of desire in the blonde's own eyes as the maintained eye contact.

"Well then," Alex said, turning and pulling open her passenger door for Piper. "Let's go."

* * *

The car ride wasn't too long, but the filled with a slightly awkward. Every once in a while, Alex would sneak a glance at Piper, who still looked utterly defeated. Piper was leaning against the passenger window, eyes closed and sighing every once and a while.

"You doin' alright there Pipes?" Alex asked as they pulled into the parking lot of Alex's place of employment.

"Pipes, huh?" Piper replied, pulling her face from the glass and staring at Alex. "No one's ever called me that before."

"Really?" Alex asked with disbelief.

"Really," Piper nodded. "Polly calls me Pipe every once in a while, but never Pipes."

"Well then Pipes, we have to head inside. My boss is definitely going to be in a mood today."

"Okay," Piper replied softly, following Alex inside. Given that it was a Monday morning, Alex wasn't all that surprised to see that the bar was pretty empty. This would normally indicate a slow day, however, Alex believed that her day was going to get a lot more interesting.

Alex led Piper to the bar, pulling out a chair right in the center, gesturing for Piper to sit. "My lady."

Piper blushed, smiling as she took her seat, which Alex pushed in for her. Alex moved to the far wall of the building before sliding behind the bar and heading back to Piper.

"Okay Pipes, what can I get you?"

Piper's face scrunched us at the sound of her new nickname, which took Alex aback.

What? Do you not like Pipes? I can stop calling you that."

"No!" Piper said hurriedly. "It's not that. It's just…different."

"Good different?" Alex asked, her voice hesitant.

"Definitely good different," Piper grinned.

"Good," Alex nodded. So Pipes, what can I get you?"

"I'll have a margarita," Piper answered.

"That I can do for you," Alex replied, turning to grab the tequila. When she finished making Piper's drink, she placed it in front of the blonde, who eagerly grabbed it and took a sip.

"This is good," Piper gasped, taking another sip.

"I know," Alex smirked, leaning against the bar and propping herself up on her elbows. "So, Piper Chapman, what else do I need to know about you?"

* * *

Today, Alex Vause learned a lot about Piper Chapman:

_At noon, Alex discovered that Piper Chapman was a very picky eater_

Piper had been reading silently for about a half an hour before Alex thought to ask if she wanted food.

"Have you eaten anything today kid?" Alex called from down the bar, where she was making a drink for another customer.

"Huh?" Piper replied, looking up from her book. "No, I haven't eaten anything."

"Well, do you want a sandwich or something?"

"Umm," Piper pulled out her wallet, examining the contents briefly. "No thanks, I'll be fine."

"Piper, don't worry about it," Alex insisted. "It's on the house."

"No, you can't do that," Piper said immediately. "I crashed into your car, you shouldn't be paying for my lunch and my drinks."

"I said it was on me, so it is," Alex shot back. "I told you, you're having a bad day, so I'll take care of it. Now, here's a menu, pick out something to eat."

Piper smiled sheepishly, flipping through the menu. "Do you have whole grain bread for the sandwiches?"

"Umm, probably?" Alex replied, unsure.

"How about the tomatoes? Do you know if they're grown organically?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Alex laughed. "Does this look like a high class restaurant to you."

"Shut up," Piper snapped playfully, though Alex could tell by the way she diverted her eyes that she was embarrassed.

"Sorry Pipes, but I'm not sure anything we have here is organic," Alex said kindly.

"Well, you know, you should suggest to the management that they get organic and pesticide free fruits and vegetables, they're much better for you –"

"People don't really come here for the dining experience," Alex cut in. "They're here for the cheap alcohol and to get drunk."

"I guess that's true," Piper allowed. "I'll just get a Caesar salad wrap on a wheat pita then."

"Coming right up," Alex grinned. "And how about another margarita?"

* * *

_At one thirty, Alex learned that Piper was intelligent_

"So, what did you study at school?"

"Oh, I studied English and minored in theater."

"Theater, huh?" Alex cocked her eyebrow. "Why theater?"

Piper shrugged. "I don't know, I just liked it."

"What do you mean 'you just liked it'? Did you like acting?"

"No, not so much the acting," Piper mused. "I liked studying the breakdown of scenes and the way different actors and stage directors interpreted the same script. I liked discussing the nuances and meanings that came with these different interpretations."

"So, really, you like analyzing things, books, plays, and whatever else?"

"Yeah," Piper smiled slowly, as if, for once, someone finally understood her. "I guess I do."

Alex returned Piper's smile, oddly glad that she seemed to be the first person to really _get _Piper Chapman. "I guess you do."

* * *

_At two thirteen, Alex learned that Piper had a temper_

"I can't believe you think that the major point of _Hamlet _was to serve as an early existential work."

"I can't believe that you think one of the most important themes was man's instability!" Piper shot back.

"Are you kidding?" Alex scoffed. "Hamlet literally goes mad trying to seek revenge on his uncle–slash–stepfather, Ophelia literally kills herself because Hamlet doesn't love her anymore, and Polonius gets himself murdered because he spies on Hamlet, hoping he'll admit to his insanity."

"Are you fucking serious?" Piper exclaims loudly, causing some customers at tables close to the bar to turn towards the girls. "Then what the hell is the whole 'to be or not to be speech'? Or how about when Hamlet says to Rosencrantz 'there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so'. That's clearly sophist and existential thinking right there!"

"You're so full of shit," Alex laughed as she saw a spark of anger in Piper's eyes.

Piper slammed her fist down on the bar. "I'm full of shit?" she yelled. "Listen to me –"

"Woah, Pipes, calm down," Alex cut Piper off again, placating her. "I was just messing with you, calm down. You're freaking out the customers."

"Oh," Piper gasped, looking around the bar before looking at Alex, sheepish. "I guess I get a little carried away sometimes."

"I think more than a little, kid," Alex chuckled. "But that's alright. It would be more annoying if you didn't know your stuff, but you were on your A-game."

"So you admit that I'm right," Piper asked slyly.

Alex guffawed. "No fuckin' way."

* * *

_At three-thirty, Alex learned exactly what she needed to know about Piper Chapman_

Alex was nervous. It didn't happen often, but it was happening now. She was intrigued by the blonde in front of her. She was a well-read, WASP-y thing, but she was smart, really smart. Not to mention very hot. But there was something else about her, something Alex couldn't put her finger on when it came to Piper Chapman, but she wanted to know more about her. Alex Vause was interested in Piper Chapman.

But now Alex had to figure out if Piper Chapman would be interested in her.

"So, you said you were recently laid off?" Alex slipped casually into their conversation.

"Yeah, from a publishing company, I was really starting to like the work too," Piper said forlornly.

"What happened? Did you sleep with one of your coworkers and he spread it around the office, forcing them to let you go?" Alex said in what she hoped was a disinterested tone.

"No! Nothing like that!" Piper insisted, her cheeks turning pink. "It was budget cuts. You know, last hired, first fired sort of thing?"

"Oh, I know," Alex trailed off.

Piper stared at Alex a minute, chewing on her lip softly before speaking. "Plus," she admitted softly, her cheeks once again turning a delicious pink. "I wouldn't be caught sleeping with any of my _male _coworkers." Piper held Alex's gaze, a smile creeping on her cheeks.

Alex pondered Piper's reply, turning it over in her mind before smirking when she picked up on what Piper was trying to get across. "Not the guys then?" Alex cocked an eyebrow.

"Not the guys," Piper confirmed, smirking right back at Alex.

"Hmm," Alex nodded thoughtfully as she turned to make Piper another drink. "Good."

* * *

At four thirty, the evening bar tender arrived, freeing Alex from work.

"C'mon kid," Alex prodded as she grabbed her tips, leaving enough to pay Piper's tab. "I'll take you home."

"You don't have to; you've been too nice already!"

"I want to," Alex replied simply, touching Piper's elbow lightly, surprised at the spark that shot through her. "Let me take you home."

"Fine," Piper sighed, allowing Alex to lead her from the bar.

Once they reached the exit, Alex decided to be bold, skimming her hand down Piper's arm, Alex loosely tangled her fingers with Piper's. She watched out of the corner of her eye as Piper's eyes shot down to their hands, then up to Alex, a look of awe on her face. After a second, Piper turned back to the sidewalk, squeezing Alex's hand in the process. Alex squeezed back.

Alex opened the car door for Piper before climbing in on the driver's side, asking Piper for her address. After starting her car, Alex immediately reached for Piper's hand, and the blonde immediately responded. They drove the short distance to Piper's house in silence, their hands resting on the console.

When they reached Piper's doorstep, the blonde turned to face her, smiling. "Thank you for today, really."

"No problem," Alex replied. "You made an otherwise hellish morning at work more enjoyable."

"Thanks," Piper giggled. "Same, you know. I mean, I would have rather been in on a beach in Tahiti, but today was a close second."

"Hmm," Alex hummed, leaning in and kissing Piper. "Anytime," Alex murmured when she pulled away."

She kissed Piper again briefly before stepping away. "See you around Pipes."

"Yeah," Piper sighed, before suddenly saying. "Let me give you my number!"

"I already have it," Alex reminded Piper. "From this morning."

"Oh yeah, the accident," Piper shook her head slowly.

"Don't worry," Alex called as she turned toward her truck. "When I call you in a couple of days, we definitely will not be talking about damages and insurance."

"Good," Piper laughed behind Alex. Alex heard the sound of a door opening and closing as she reached her car, signaling that Piper had gone inside. Alex was grinning as she stepped into her car, already looking forward to her next adventure with Piper Chapman.

* * *

_A/N 2: Thank you so much for reading, let me know what you think! Also, if anyone has any fic ideas, feel free to leave me a message in my tumblr (the link is in my bio). I'm also up for discussing OITNB; like I said before, I'm new to the fandom, so I'd love to chat with you all!_


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